Today we are nearly 3 months since our LID (11/14/06) of our dossier. All day I've been seeing people posting on the various adoption Yahoo Groups that they have received their last confirmation letter today that arrives right before their travel approval is issued. These families are LID on, around, and even AFTER we are...I even saw a person LID in DECEMBER.

Tonight I had two exams...how do you think I did??? My stomach is in knots...I can't sleep...I feel like I walk around like a zombie...just--numb. We are totally ready to bring Lily home. I am sad...then angry...jealous...thankful for others getting theirs, BUT....back to sad. I wish I could put into words how it feels to love a child I've never even met.

Since September 2006 we have been captivated by her sweet face. When we first opened Lily's referral picture we both silently just stared at her face for a long time. I turned to Eric as I pointed to Han Xue and said, "She's Lily"...

This is Lily Han Xue Smith...